Prinsesa’s Anatomy

From my widgets on the right, it is pretty obvious that I am an on-line game player – and a very good one at that. LOL.

When I was in high school, the biggest Multi-media on-line role playing game or MMORPG was Ragnarok. Back then, my Man was totally ditching his studies preoccupied with it. You see, MMORPGs is a lot like blogging – it needs a lot of commitment and in return you will get a sense of satisfaction and entertainment. But I did not get how it worked then so I thought it was totally crap, until I hit freshman year at the university when I started to be involved.

I only play one though, ROSE on-line, the one created by North America. Like  most on-line games, the challenge is to ‘level up’ to the maximum level the game offers while defeating monsters and saving the world on the way, whichever job you choose. Of course this includes flashy equipment and clothes that are the cutest, plus there are gorgeous wings, carts, and castle gears available that you can also don.

However, the best thing about it of course is the fact that it serves as our bonding time, my Man and I, while playing. Sometimes I also see other couples playing, cheesy. LOL.

The maximum level in ROSE is 210. Now if you are wondering what is the last red spark I saw…

Do you know a mage who's max? LOL

The ‘level up’ sign is red when it appears then turns blue. It is only a split second but it was joy. LOL.

I was asking my Man what am I supposed to do since I  have maxxed out, and he said I could focus on getting rich, the game has its own monetary and business sectors btw, or I can create a new character and start all-over again.

If you think about it, this represents a lot of universal truths in life, about reaching the top, about what comes in the end.

After reaching the finish line, there is nothing do to because you are done.

After reaching the finish line, it sure is joy at first but it can get boring after some time.

After reaching the finish line, after reaching the top, the only thing left to do is go down – and maybe try to reach the top again.

I found this article on Y! Philippines today about yet another industry scandal from the People’s Republic of China, involving toxic children’s toys and clothes, probably for the nth time.

According to state media, nearly half of the clothes and toys made in Guangdong, the China’s top manufacturing province that is the center of their export industry, is unsafe, containing toxic levels of formaldehyde which can cause skin or respiratory infections, and lead, cadmium and chromium – all health endangering metals. All these due to the use of substandard raw materials and paint.

I am so starting to wonder whether this really is a secret plot of China to kill the children of the world one toy or cloth at a time, because this issue keeps on coming back from the milk to the kid’s furniture problem.

This finding has a great implication for Filipino buyers, especially those not on the wealthy scale because they are usually the consumers of China-made products albeit without so much knowledge as to the safety of what they are bringing home to their kids.

I guess sometimes, cheaper doesn’t always mean quality, and by far it absolutely doesn’t mean safe, so keep your wise-buyer caps on okay?

PM's social network site photo

Although I am very much a child from darkness, I do have my moments. A couple of days ago, I joined the mad rush of people going to malls and book stores to buy school supplies for the opening of the coming school year. I was buying for my inaanak sa binyag. I do not know how you translate that in English. LOL

PM’s salary at the college as part-time chemistry teacher is not much. In fact, it is so not much that PM’s allowance from Don Domeng is bigger than her weekly salary given by the college. However, the point is, no matter how meager it was, PM was able to do good and share it to the needy.

The things is, my inaanak is the daughter of a worker on Don Domeng’s beach resort, who of course did not have much. It really felt good to know I have helped in my tinsy-tiny way, and I pray that my inaanak would be inspired to take her studies seriously because of the presence of people trying to support her.

Now I wonder why so many wealthy people are not moved to help the people around them who are obviously having a hard time? I am very sure helping them does not cost very much, especially when you are well-off. Me being able to give with the embarrassingly small salary I got, I am saddened by the lack of compassion and selfishness I see around me.

Now if only I am filthy rich. Sigh.

Crossing the Line

At the very edge I hung – thinking

Whether I should let go and allow myself to fall,

To what seemed like a glorious plunge,

To what seemed like a blinding, maddening downward flight.

I looked down – tense, curious.

I could almost hear my frantic scream, loud and faint as I go down, down, down.

A scream of pleasure and horror, as I have become prey.

‘Let go’ – it is very, very tempting.

I closed my eyes – savoring my moment of indecision…

The taste of intoxication fills my mouth,

As a cold sweat of fear trickle down my neck.

It is close – any moment now.

My fingers loose grip – one after the other.

I chill in lost anticipation, wonder, awe…

As I throw my head back to feed my fall, ready for the long way down -

Let’s see if I can grow wings.

I had some boring free time today so I pretended I was filling it up by writing poetry. LOL.

I also saw another poetry today posted by ceemee titled Innocence. I wonder if she was also bored when she wrote it. LOL.

I just caught a couple of minutes airtime of the daily evening news and I heard that there is already a confirmed case of the A(H1N1) flu in the country.

Just this morning, my Man was asking me if traveling was advisable these days because of the outbreak, and of course, because I love him I said… yes, travel is still advisable. LOL.

I am a state registered nurse but I am no expert on A(H1N1), but as I see it, this outbreak is no different from other diseases that you can acquire from everywhere. It is the common flu, only a new variant, which can be cured and can be readily prevented with good hygiene and a strong immune system.

I do not understand why mass media is driving all the world into panic. I think AIDS, or dengue hemorrhagic fever, is more lethal than A(H1N1) but the world is certainly not panic buying on condoms or mosquito nets, why so?

Consequently, I remember another incident I experienced this afternoon as I was waiting in line in a fast food chain for a little snack. It was not a very long line, I think I was the fifth person from the counter, make that four because those in front of me where lovers.

What’s funny was the fact that, at some point in the line, the girlfriend slowly turned towards the boyfriend and squeezed her head into his chest, the measure of her height against his. I thought it was supposed to be for a hug, but what do you know, I was dumbfounded when she actually turned around on purpose just to sneeze at him.

If A(H1N1) virus was around, I could’ve died on that same line because my mouth was wide as a bucket from laughing.

I just saw a very interesting article posted on Yahoo Tech about how photos uploaded on the internet do not get deleted even after the user who put it there has it removed.

I was not actually surprised by this, after all who has not experienced clicking on a thumbnail on image searches only to be told that the image has been removed or deleted? But still, obviously the thumbnail exists and the URL of that photo intact.  The post on yahoo tech said it has something to do about the storage system of large server providers, that even when you have a photo deleted, ghost copies remain that may linger for an indefinite period of time.

Though this news was not surprising, the magnitude of what it can do can be scary. Amidst all the ’scandal talks’ hovering in the air, knowing this kind of information is a must to be able to protect one’s privacy now or in the future. When it comes to personal, sensitive, or controversial matters, caution and sound judgement cannot be overruled.

As for me, well, I am not ‘allowed’ to post my photos on the internet, even on my own social networking site profile. LOL. My man strongly goes against it, being the computer know-it-all that he is, I think he knew about this kind of un-deleted thing all along.

Of course, aside from the privacy issue, I know it also has something to do with his ‘personal, for security motives’. I don’t mind though, in fact I think I find it cute. LOL.

Happy Birthday Piapot!

Today is piapot’s birthday.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, happy birthday…

Happy birthday to you!

You might’ve known her from visits to her dead blog that she is trying to resurrect these past few days. LOL. Sometimes people get confused between the two of us in the blogging world. We are siblings, and I am older.

Today she turns 18. Like me, she did not want to have a corny debut, only an intimate family dinner. I think we are very much alike in many ways, for one we are both neurotic. But piapot is a very intelligent girl. She is that one person I run to when I want those challenging philosophical world view debates at night time.  She is also a writer, and a good leader. I know she will also be EIC of our university paper. It will only be a matter of time.

The one thing that is different between us is the fact that she is so kind, sometimes I want to throw her down the stairs for being stupidly kind. When God decided to give my parent’s children kindness, she was carrying a Balikbayan box while I had a teaspoon.

She is also sociable, unlike some, ehem, who even repel ants. She is socially aware and involved, and I do admire her compassion, which I lack most of the time, being the task-oriented person that I am. I am very proud of her for all that she has done and Iam very excited to see what she will become in the next few days and years.

Back then, people from our office in the university paper sometimes calls her ‘little Musang’ but I beg to differ. I know she is her own person and I applaud her for carving the path that she is on right now. Tap your shoulder piapot, good job.

Happy Birthday!

I am a regular commuter, roughly 28 Km back and forth, everyday to go to school or to work. I am used to it after all this time but what really irritates me is the manner by which people going to and from this place talk when they see people they know aboard the same public utility vehicle. They talk so loud! Ack.

I hate listening to the chatter created by people I do not know, especially on public places. The problem is, as I’ve said, they speak so loudly and I hate how their words seem to squeeze on my ear, no matter how hard I try to loose them, the words just seem to sink directly on my consciousness.

However, to make things less worse, sometimes the speeches that has forced their way into my ear, I try to analyze and be a sociologist interpreter of some sort. Sometimes, what I discover upon reflecting from their horrendous habit results into post-worthy material.

Just like today, on my way home, there was this, obviously, loud lady seating beside me who by the looks of it was a middle-aged, high school teacher. She was shouting talking to three people seated across her, criticizing them for wasting money on fare. Apparently, these three people were a family: a father, mother, and their son who was enrolling for college at a certain school in the city. The high school teacher thought it was inappropriate for the parents to still accompany the child on his enrollment, to think about the cost on the wallet.

I remember a scene of my own, like this five years ago, when I was an incoming freshman in the state university. I was accompanied by Mother Goose and the grueling enrollment process felt a lot better because she was there. This is why I wanted to throw the loud lady out of the jeep, not only for being annoyingly loud, but also for being insensitive, or idiotic about how that son, or his parents for that matter, where feeling.

In my years, I would want to believe that I have grown into a capable, strong, and independent Musang, but as much as I can, really, when I am at home or when I need something done that can slide without having to do it personally or alone, I always ask that Don Domeng or Mother Goose be with me, or for them to help me with whatever task was it I had to deal with. Doing so not only makes it a lot easier for me, but it also helps me feel secure and in the usually grueling process of accomplishing tasks, I feel somewhat comfortable because they are there; more importanly, it is my way of telling them that I still need them even though I am capable on my own.

For example, lately I have been having a relapse of my iron-deficiency anemia symptoms, most probably I am anemic again. I am usually dizzy, out of breath, and easily fatigued. Each time I would look gaunt, Mother Goose would nag me about not taking care of myself, shame on me being a registered nurse and all. The point is, I do know what to do, but it is that feeling of being taken cared of and being looked after that I am after each time I would whine about being sick.

As Arn puts it, my friend, who is also a registered nurse, “when nurses get sick, the most annoying thing to here from their loved ones are the words ‘nurse ka pa naman, hindi mo alagaan ang sarili mo [you should be able to take care of yourself because you are a nurse after all].”

But as I have mentioned before, I am indeed very blessed when it came to family, our family being the envy of the town, modesty aside. The secret of our sane family life is simple: when we do things, we did them together.

You might be surprised that at this age, coming and going to PRC for my nursing license I would not budge if my family would not be coming with me. I revel in the presence of my parents, plus after finishing tiresome tasks there always is a good free meal with them around.

***

Another annoying thing I discovered today was that spammers love my site. Just today I got 25. Why do people spam anyway?

I remember the first time I used the word ‘mental orgasm’: it was for the disclaimer in our college literary folio, with ‘mental orgasm’ referring to the creative literary and art works of the authors and artists who had the privilege to be included in the folio.

I would like to think that creativity is a form of mental orgasm. You can furnish the details by yourself – I don’t like to be graphic about it. LOL.

Inspired by the contagious excitement of kg about the May/June Creative Swap, I decided to join myself in search of a new blogging adventure.

In line with me participating, this post is a shout out to whoever the cosmos will choose (or whoever caryn assigns to me, LOL) as my creative swap partner (whoever you are, I already like you because we have something in common: we are both latecomers).

Q: What kind of creative things are you into?

PM:I would like to think I am into creative things. LOL. Let me see. I like scrap booking, embellishing and recycling, reading and writing prose, photography and lay-outing, and shirt printing.

Q: How would you describe your personal style?

PM: I am very much laid-back, minimalistic, and in my dreams I think I am stylish. LOL.

Q: What are your favorite colors?

PM: I like white, orange, pink, and yellow.

Q: What is one craft you would like to learn?

PM: Carpentry? LOL. I would like to learn the ones that require patience like paper crafts or cross-stitching but that is never going to happen. LOL. I would want to paint, but that is also never going to happen. LOL. Or maybe it can, abstract painting. LOL. And baking!

Q: What other hobbies are you into?

PM: I take care of my fat cat, Jin, and read a lot of boring things. LOL. On my free time, which hardly comes, I watch Nat. Geo and Japanese manga with my sisters. I do not like to move a lot. LOL. I am a stay at home person, very laid-back.

Q: What items do you really wish you had right now?

PM: A new laptop? LOL. Let me see. Maybe tons of shirt printing stuff and loads of photo paper that is self-adhesive. LOL.

I am pretty excited about this because I really enjoy giving stuff away. LOL. I wish I would not accidentally send Jin by courier to my creative swap partner. LOL.

BTW, laugh with us here.

I was tempted to title this post ‘look younger in seven days’ but I found it too annoying to do so.

Just moments ago, I was chatting with my student in Chemistry 214. We did not have a class but he decided to come by and we ended up talking about so much about his life, his studies, his lovelife, and finally, him being my student. Apparently, my student has stayed in the college for eight years on the same engineering course he was taking up since Day 1. He was now 27 years old. I am 21.

He told me that sometimes, he and his classmates talk about how awkward it was that I am their teacher, which translates to, how akward it was that their teacher was either the same age as they were or worse, much  younger than them.

I had to laugh a good hearty laugh, not to undermine their trouble, but because sometimes I end up thinking the same thing – how almost ‘inappropriate’ it was to look at that I, their teacher, looked more like their younger sister. But my student said my ‘Musang mode’ takes them out of it. I told him that there was a need for me to be authoritative (Musang mode) because of the same thing – that if I would be soft on them, definitely our classroom would be in chaos because of our’ age similarity’. I was starting to think I was redefining life inside college because instead of the usual age gap complaint of students against their instructor, mine were having issues because of our similarity.

However, through all this, what I like about myself was the fact that I am very comfortable in my place in the world at my age, and to be honest, I really have no issues at all about being too young or being too old for anything I do. It’s just that I am happy as to where I am now and I have no regrets whatsoever looking back. In fact, you might be surprised, but I can think about aging and be very happy about it.

It might’ve been because of my Asperger’s personality, but ever since, I reveled in the presence of older people, and the ones I admire most were also older people. I found that when you are older, you are wiser and more experienced, plus you get to do things that you want to do, as opposed to being young where you are always told what to do, where you are always insecure about things, or worst, always getting into trouble because of being too immature, too insensitive and too naive. If you ask me, if being an adult is overrated then being young is just over the top overrated.

Don’t get me wrong though, all I’m saying is that people often mistake aging as being nothing more than an old rotting tomato or potato or whatever vegetable you can think of that rots. But, no matter how the commercial industry makes it appear to be that way, aging of course is more than that, because it comes with wisdom and experience, that you can never buy in a bottle anywhere in the world.

At 21, I am not very young nor am I very old. What is important to me now is that I know I am a sure and secured person, loving and knowing everything it is about me, what I can do, and what I will eventually become.

In retrospect, I think what my students are worried about is not really about my age, but about the fact that it is embarassing to fail in front of a ‘girl’ that is everything like their peers… well maybe only a tad smarter.