Just when you think I’m posting a rant, I’m not. Do you know this song, Be Honest by Jason Mraz? I’d love to post the video here but videos don’t go well with my template so just click the link and give yourself a treat, okay? Besides, how can you relate with what I’m about to say if you don’t listen to it?
Anyway, the other day, I think this is before I got ill, I’m talking to a friend and somewhere along the conversation, I threw this question: “If you love someone will you really want to control and dominate them?“
It proved to be a great conversation really and my opinion is summarized by the song above. When I was younger, it’s probably not the case but now the song says it all.
My friend and I agreed that if you love someone you have to let them do what makes them happy, set them free, and let them grow and live their lives. It’s surprising how all these can happen and you are still together, and in a very healthy relationship at that.
I think the problem is most people don’t know they are controlling and it’s kind of unfair, especially when people throw this for the sake of love. I don’t get it at all.
The first thing that comes to my mind is trust issues, why people try to be controlling and dominating. However, I’m not at all convinced because there are many instances when there is no reason to distrust yet people are still freaking paranoid. This brings me to the second thing, which is insecurity. Then again, there are times when you give all the assurances to someone and they still feel insecure.
So bottom line is, the problem is with the controlling and dominating person. A person can be trustworthy to the bone, provide all the assurance in the world, but if this person is in a relationship with somebody with self problems, then it will not work out.
A person must be confident, secured, and assured in himself or herself first before this can be transferred to another in a relationship; as simple as you can’t give what you can’t don’t have, you know?
There’s actually a photo on Facebook Mother Goose shared that I found so annoying. It’s about one person wishing you can put a password on your lover so he or she is all yours. I’m like WTF, the person who made this shouldn’t get a lover but a plant!
For instance, in my case, “There’s no dotted line to sign away your freedom. I’ll always stand beside you, don’t get me wrong. I don’t ask for much, just be honest, with me.”
Life doesn’t have to be complicated, you know? I can’t tell you how much thing go better when you don’t think too much and just enjoy the moment. For somebody who has been pretty controlling and dominating in the past, saying this makes me feel proud of myself. What do you know, I’ve grown a little bit!
I guess it’s just that I realized, “Who we are, when love is what it wants to be, we are free, and we are having the best day ever by far. I don’t ask for much, just be honest with me.”
How about you guys, do you tend to be controlling and paranoid or you’re the chill type too? Don’t you go lying to me now, okay?