However, disaster struck last week. Try as I might, I could not find the brand of cereal I eat – the almond one from Kellogg’s. I have tried going around different supermarkets but nothing.
What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. This. City.
As much as it hurt me, I thought I’d fix that easily by simply picking up a different box with a picture similar to what I’m used to eating. The first thing I saw was Fitnesse by Nestle. It has the same flakes with nuts on the picture. I thought that would do.
I don’t regret many things in life but this one is special… Just thinking about it even makes me feel homicidal.
Breakfast the next day: I lift a spoonful to my mouth and taste motherfucking despair. False advertising crap. It looked edible on the photo in the box.
OMG, why would anyone manufacture a cereal this way? It tastes like garden soil. If this is how all health-food are made, I’d be happy to shorten my life. I may die young but it will be for a good cause.
No wonder the cereal I buy is always out of stock. If the competition is fun-free, it’d be too easy to clear shelves. Even the look is uninspiring for crying out loud!
Please, just don’t eat this one. It’ll suck the happy out of you. I think I might cry.
Now on the off chance that you do like Fitnesse cereal… oh man, I salute you, you brave soul. I wish you have abs that can shave my legs… Otherwise, you might want to do a bit of soul searching, but hey, up to you.