I am currently in love with Jason Mraz’s song titled ‘A beutiful mess’. I so love the lyrics. I am a lyrics person. No matter how catchy the melody is, if it talks about non-sense, it is never going to work for me. I have the same principle when it comes to people too.

***

My sisters and I went to church this early evening. I liked the homily. It talks about knowing what matters most. I think it is an important virtue that most people take for granted in this generation, that is why amidst all the comforts, many still end up being unhappy. I guess no matter how much material things you have, it can never really give that elusive satisfaction, because for one, salaries cannot hug you, same goes with other related stuff.

Similarly, it always makes me hurt a lot, when I realize I am taking for granted the people who love me, like when I get preoccupied with work or with the various stresses that occupy my hair. I really try to make a conscious effort to make those important to me feel that they really are important. But it can be hard to focus on what matters most when there are a bazillion unimportant things that practically fly to your face every five minutes. I guess that is a part of what makes love special, all the effort it requires.

***

Work and graduate school has been cruel lately. The Year of the Ox forecast for me proved to be so true, not that I take it seriously though, but I think I have worked my cute ass off this year to the point my other muscles and bones are starting to fall apart one after the other. I am so looking forward to the Christmas break, if this goes on any longer, I am sure it is I who will definitely break apart. I guess the only good thing is that I am not yet sad, I am still trying to be positive amidst all this. LOL. Wish me luck.

***

I would also like to include in this post my entry to kg’s blog contest.

My three favorite places:

1. Balanga City, Bataan. I know the city has been rising to popularity lately because of the recent 5th Philippine Bird Festival, but to me, Balanga holds most of the wonderful experiences life has thrown at me. Even when I do not really live here, I can say that this is were I grew up.

2. Puerto Prinsesa, Palawan. This is actually the first place I’ve been to by air. The best thing about Palawan to me is the underground river. My jaw was practically open the whole time I was inside. It is also the first time I really felt that ‘traveler’ bug.

3. Tugegarao City. I am not sure how I will explain this one. I like it because I had the most horrible experience going there, on a crowded bus, uncomfortable and dying for 13 hours straight. It is the reason why this place is stucked on my mind. The horror! LOL. But it makes for good conversation. But I am not coming back there by land, ever.

Three places I dream of going to:

1. London. Kulot and I badly want to catch the next Olympics here. I sure hope that will be a reality.

2. Greece. I have always been fascinated by Greece. I actually like a lot about the country: I like the literature, I like the architecture; it just seems like a wonderful place that is full of culture. One day!

3. Bohol. One reason: tarsier.

HB polymer clay keychains

These are for my best friends that I sorely miss from the university publication. They are also all professionals now, but I think we would all agree, our days as campus journalists were one of the best times of our lives.

Indeed, growing up can also have a down side.

I miss all of you autistic people. I will surely give a lot just to be with you all again.

camelbak m.u.l.e polymer clay keychain

This one is a replica of my Man’s backpack, not really exact because of the discrepancy in shape but it is pretty close. My Man is pretty much in love with this backpack and it is really amazing how this key chain looks a lot like it, details and all. It is really very cute how it hangs from one of the bag zippers, looking like a mini me of the whole thing!

All these are creations of Cheryl Abrigo of R Angel. I really am a big fan of her creativity. These are made-to-order though there are some ready made ones, but it is amazing how you can send her photos of what you want done and she will deliver by giving you a cute tiny version of it! She does key chains, phone accessories, necklace pendants and earrings – all these made of polymer clay.

Surely, gifts like these will be very much appreciated – for one, they are only one in the world! Plus the thought and effort are really valuable. If you are interested in having your own or seeing more of R Angel’s products, visit her facebook account and browse through her albums. I am sure you will also adore her and her work.

I for one was amazed.

The past days, I have found myself severely out of focus. I would like to say it has only been days, or maybe I have just lost count. The old cabbage seems to be floating in midair sans any content  yet it feels so heavy as if I have been slaving to death.

I am finding it difficult trying to shake my anxieties away. I am not even sure why I have anxiety attacks. It will be my birthday on Saturday; my cheeks should be numb in an anticipatory smile, yet I feel stupidly shaken.

I know I am stressed because last night it felt unbearable I sought for my guide – I watched Kung Fu Panda, again, for the one millionth time. Somehow it felt good, and when I start to feel my anxieties are about to creep up, I recite my line for the day: “You are too concerned with what was and what will be.”

Ahh… now that brought some much needed oxygen.

Dear Santa,

Erm… I know you are probably very busy right now preparing your things for Christmas and all, but I was just wondering, since I think I have been reasonably good this year, and it is my birthday on the 3rd of next month, I was kind of thinking if there is a way I can get my present earlier than expected? Christmas is right around the corner, I know, but can’t you consider having it right around my side for birthday’s sake?

It’s okay if you prefer airmail or snail mail. You can also deliver personally if you want. Thanks Mr. Santa Claus.

I would often play Guess The Sketch (GTS) Challenge on Facebook these days against my sister Kulot, her classmates, and my Man. We would often have such a grand time that every round ends up with us having stomachaches from too much laughing. It was so much fun that there would be times when Kulot would open her account and her classmates would ask for me so that we could play GTS already. LOL

On one particularly fun game, it was my turn to draw and the word was yacht. What was funny was that they knew what the word was but could not spell it correctly! I was dead on the floor laughing my lungs out. The kids would spell yatch, yates, yatee, yate, yatch, yate yan eh di ko lang alam spell! [that is a yacht, i just don't know how to spell yacht correctly!] – everything but the correct one!

The best part about it is that you could tease them endlessly about their blunders – either when they misspell a word or cannot guess an obvious one after everybody in the room has already done so.

But more than that, I think it is the bonding that we create which is most special, especially that my sister is an adolescent, the knowledge that I am a part of her life, and a fun one at that as attested by her peers, is what would definitely keep me drawing hands that look like edematous bananas in GTS, possibly for a long time.

PM went to the city to visit her mentor because today is her birthday (happy birthday Madam!). She told me to add her up on Facebook and tend to her farm on Farmville, but of course I told her I do not have my own account. LOL.

She then proceeded into telling me of a quiz she took titled ‘What is your true age?’ and was laughing out loud because it said she was sixty years old inside!

I took the same quiz out of curiosity and what do you know we got the same result! The quiz said, with what I was dealing with, I was somewhere around 46-60 years old and at a period of ‘Happy Retirement’ because “You’ve been worked like a dog and are ready to retire. For now you enjoy watching tv and talking about the good old times.”

And to think I am just 21 years old! But to consider the fatigue I really am getting these days, I think I really should consider an early retirement! LOL!

I took this quiz on facebook titled ‘What kind of dater are you?’ and the result is ‘passionate dater’, with an explanation that reads: “You are the one that takes things seriously. When you are in a relationship you are always committed. You also never get too involved unless they are very important to you.”

I think it is a fitting interpretation. After all, what kind of a relationship is one that lacks commitment?

Oh, a relationship which is a no relationship. LOL.

And what kind of person gets involved with something irrelevant? Psychopath? LOL

Death ends a life, not a relationship. – Morrie Schwartz

In light of recent events in the country, my thoughts push me to think about death. I am very comfortable talking about death, much more talking about my own, wondering how I am going to die, or more specifically, of what disease will probably take my life.

Mother Goose would be fuming mad each time she would hear me or my sisters talk about it. I guess she is a part of the typical Filipino – or even the world’s – culture that cringes each time death would creep up on conversations, as if it can be transmitted if you speak of it.

But of course, I differ in that world view. Maybe because I have so much accepted that death is as natural as living – as it always had been – and it is a lucid truth that it will one day come, and that there is really no harm done when it finally comes, better yet it brings peace. After all, the only way to be with the Absolute is only through it.

When I see people cry over a loss, I had always thought those people are crying because of selfish reasons: because they cannot see, feel, and be with the deceased. But I would always feel relieved each time I would know that someone suffering from an illness or really old age has passed. I would always welcome their peace and end of their suffering. Their passing will always be good news to me.

And when the time comes that it is my time to pass, the thought of my epitaph crossed my mind. It took a nanosecond for me to realize what I wanted written down on it. I would want the same one as that written on Morrie Schwartz’s.

A teacher to the last.

You might’ve known for long that the art of paper crane folding originated from Japan. Let me tell you something: they came from Brazil – from shadowmoon to be exact!

The flight of the paper cranes took some 1800 Kms to reach me!

I just received the parcel that shadowmoon sent which contains nine paper crane donations for my 1,000 paper crane project.

I think shadowmoon's paper cranes look way better than mine. LOL

I really, really appreciate the effort shadowmoon, thank you so much – to think how far these wings came from! I can imagine you folding them one by one, just like when you are doing your wonderful paper crafts.

If you would recall, I started my paper crane project as an anti-stress technique against the hassles my work environment presents me. I stated that each time I would be stressed out, I would transfer my negative vibe into folding paper cranes until I reach 1,000 by the end of the semester.

Fortunately, I am glad to say the necessity that is to fold paper cranes has decreased dramatically, since I am now able to control my thoughts and emotions better in response to not so healthy energies around me. I think you would be happy to know that my bubble is back and stronger than ever, my claws and whiskers on their proper places.

I stress very little nowadays and I find so much to be grateful for – like receiving paper cranes from a friend! I realized that moving to a new environment would always entail a crisis, that later will be nothing more than a laughing matter.

As I have mentioned before, I have been treating myself to some down by tinkering with Facebook using Kulot’s [my sister's] account, and  recently, to be a better farmer in Farmville, I have been also using my Man’s account to send gifts to Kulot’s account, ain’t I bright? LOL.

I was looking at my Man’s wall and I saw a quiz that his brother just took. The title was ‘are you a stalker, pedophile, murderer, or normal?’. It might sound dark but you know what result I got?

Pineapple Juice Musang Flavor

It said I was a PINEAPPLE. LOL. So how do you like me now?

Also, I would like to share a couple of photos, of my students interning at the local hospital. Today was their last day of duty in my area and it is very likely that it will be a long time until we meet again. Their words and gestures were truly overwhelming and it reminded me so much of why I became a teacher in the first place.

PM's kids

I was thinking of making a separate post about them but I guess I am at a point where I am just so speechless in joy. But looking at their photos, I believe it says it all.

Giving PM a sense of purpose