Going in Circles

When I was still in college finishing my first degree, I kept a column for the paper titled ‘Prinsesa’s Anatomy’ – the same title carried by my blog. But when I returned to the university to get  graduate education, I decided to change my column to ‘Going in Circles’.

One of my friends who was also an editor for the same paper was surprised when he saw it and told me, “Ay bakit hindi ka na Prinsesa [Why is is that you changed, and not a Princess anymore]?

I only answered with a smile. I though ‘Going in Circles’ was perfect and it did reflect what I was feeling for that particular time – that indeed, I was going in circles. I just graduated from college then two months after I was back again, a student again, writing again.

On it’s entirety it was not a bad thing – I just thought that well, I was going in circles. It was not regression though, because the PM who returned was more mature, a hell of a lot smarter and stronger. When it came to performance I was always progressive.

But some habits I had before I still kept on doing, did not change at all. I preferred it that way though instead of changing but only to go back again, with the question of a matter of time.

And that kind of thing is what I actually hate in life, in dealing with other people. I hate people who appeared to have changed but still time would prove otherwise and would revert back to old habits. Maybe that’s why you call them habits – they do not die easily, hard to shake off, and even when you think you have kicked them out they would hopelessly return. Instances like that annoys me so much. I hate inconsistencies. I hate irregularities. Maybe because I am a mind set kind of person. Once this is what I already saw, heard and have already experience, I would expect that time and again. I hate regressions.

But it is not to say that I do not have my moments. There are certain points in my life I cannot perfectly leave behind – especially the ones I felt gravely strong about. But I do not fool myself into thinking I am fine about it when I know I am not, so that is not really regression after all but letting go problems more aptly.

I think one of the many reasons why we end up in discord is because we tend to go on circles,  even when we know we are better off traversing a straight path.

We never learn.

16 thoughts on “Going in Circles

  1. kat,
    i think we tend to go round and round because it is human nature to be silly. we only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing. and that is also, again, silly.

  2. Ouch, from the Queen of Inconsistencies! Well, what you said here is true, and even if we know what to do, most of the time we don’t do it. I’ve been going in circles myslef, for the past couple of months, about a certain something I know I’m supposed to veer away from. I’d decide to stop my lunacy, stick to that decision for a couple of days, and then change my mind. Sometimes I hate myself for not having enough nerve to stick with the decisions that matter most.

  3. gudang,

    it’s a never ending cycle, buti sana kung good habits kaso hindi eh!

    yun nga ang nakakaasar eh.

    meron ding cats na naghahabol ng tail! like my jin. oo nga eh rare tayo. isa pa, sakit ng mayaman. LOL

  4. di ba dog yung naghahabol sa buntot? hindi pa kasi ako nakakakita ng pusang naghahabol ng buntot..

    magaan pa naman yung mga pawsteps nila…kaya hindi ko maimagine! hahahaha…

    M! ayaw mo nun?! we’re RARE!


  5. tama, we never learned from our past, we tend to go on circles, like we do it again even we knew that is not right.. Indeed I love this post, kc sobrang nakakarelate ako, there are things na tayo lang ang nakakaalam, humans just wanted to be happy.. that’s our nature 🙂

  6. K,
    when it comes to cats chasing tails, that is cute. but humans? oh please give me a break. ugh.

    prinsesa’s anatomy sounds so conceited right?LOL. i’ve read your post. i think that book passage is beautiful.

  7. we are like cats chasing our own tails and we go in circle until we get tired, we stopped then do it again. it’s a ride, and that’s life.

  8. panda,
    sa ibang bagay mahirap talaga ako makarecover tulad ng emotional shocks. hindi kasi ako natatahimik until i get even eh LOL. kawawa naman tayo P, may sign of autism tayo. LOL

    kris jasper,
    that is just the problem. i am terribly dizzy of this cycle!

    i will make sure my man reads your comment. LOL

    yes but when we decide to kick habits only to regress – that’s a problem.

  9. Pingback: Going in Circles | No Brainer Profits

  10. tama ka…

    ako din eh…

    mahirap akong makarekober sa isang bagay, laging naku-culture shock… hirap magadjust… ayoko rin ng inconsistency…

    kaya lang…

    ganun eh…

    pero kung para naman sa ikabubuti, okay lang saken…

    kanino ba hindi?

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