Breaking The Habit

The Last Great Battle


I heard the faintest scream from the depths of my being, for what

I kept locked up for far so long resurfaces in a sweet mad motion,

As if telling me to run, because ‘here we go again’.

For the longest time, I pretended I was not running away, and I

Thought I have put up a brave front as I ‘walk in a fast dignified manner’.

With my back turned away, as my chest tear and bleed, and beat

Out of control, and I am out of my wits. Hot sheer tears drain my eyes to

More pain, and in the darkness, I hear it fast approaching, mouth all watering

Ready… to devour me one more time, to laugh like hell at my weakness.

My feet are weary and my lungs dry, but a heightened sense seize me.

I am tired – tired of being gnawed upon by truths I try to deny and fail. My

Feeble frame can take no more self-induced beatings, no more…

And no more running away, so I stop. And for what felt like forever, I

Locked gazes with such a terrible site… and a mad sense of fear possessed me,

But this time equaled – or exceeded – by anger; A rage that brought back all

I lost, and all unreturned shall be repaid. On my back I felt chills and

On my veins I felt cold as the gap become closer and closer… and gone.

But I fear no more.

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29 thoughts on “Breaking The Habit

  1. Interesting topic.
    I could use this topic to write some lyrics to a song…would I be able to create something good enough? I don’t know. Should I give it a try?

    • thanks. that’s good to know. wala naman mangyayari if we get scared maliban na lang sa pagbibigay satin ng heart attack.

    • salamat kg. it has been fun preparing it pero hindi pa dumarating yung sakin ang tagal na ng excitement ko! i have been e-mailing caryn, sumasagot ba sayo? sakin hindi eh? excited na din ako sa next round like ther est of us!

  2. i hate being scared.
    sometimes it gets the better of me.
    and i get frustrated with myself when i get angry.

    and that’s a beautiful poem, pm.
    i love how it’s constructed.

    • hey thanks seraphine. i think nobody wants to be scared at all LOL that’s why i do not understand people who likes watching horror flicks. it’s like scaring yourself out of your wits!

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