For the longest time, I have lost my letters without knowing when they would come back. I tried, once or twice to see, but it was futile. The tsunami of horror last month seriously kept me from them, that or maybe I just did not want to spell out what was going on – looking back my history books, that can be a habit.
I cannot really say that I everything is going great, but at least I know that I am now accepting everything with renewed faith. It took a long while, but all along I guess it was worth it.
I have been doing a lot of things, maybe I can share them on my next posts – I’m sure they will be beautiful ones because amidst my great sorrow, I have tried to find the beauty in life, beauty that still exists even when I am devastated. One of the important things I have learned was that the world will definitely not stop, no matter what we feel.
It helps to have a good idea inside your noggin that even when things are monstrous, surely a day will come and it will cease, that way there is something to look forward to, even when the things you really look forward to since forever has already been taken away.
But I dare say, that this great sorrow, apart from ripping me into pieces, has also made my resolve stronger in faith. Instead of praying each second that I find its solution, which I would normally do in the past, now I thank the Absolute for giving me this flu of the soul that I may build my faith better than before, thank Him for giving me the chance to grow with him and the opportunity to show Him that I do trust Him – that can be a lot, I am a control freak, but not knowing this time is fine, as long as I have Him, what can go wrong really?
It feels wonderful to be able to stand again, to know that my paws and whiskers are not in shambles, and more important, it feels great to know that amidst everything… all is well.