The person seated next to me might fail self restraint and strangle me, or worse place a line of pop corn towards where I am seated to lead a troop of angry ants and have me nibbled away. Suffering death from someone else’s stomach acids simply does not appeal to me in any way.
I don’t know, I just find movies so… long, and I believe we have discussed my attention span, or strong lack thereof. If you ask me my favorite movie I have got to say TV commercials. Oh, they are not movies, are they?
This is why the people most suited to sandwich me on a movie include a mute and a dead guy. The dead guy may stink but at least he can keep his peace while I rant in specific parts of the show, or maybe every after five minutes. How My Man tolerates me is still one of the greatest mysteries of life, especially to my friends.
Kulot would measure the greatness of a movie based on how many times I have said “I am bored”, “How much longer?”, “It’s killing me” and “This is probably what will happen next…”
However, through all of the movies we have watched together, she has developed perfect self restraint, or selective deafness. She has yet to strangle me, though in her head I know she wishes that someone else would.
It is like that of an occupational hazard, and I do not think my insurance covers choking secondary to watching a movie so you can just imagine the amount of mortal peril I face each time the film innocently plays.