How To Watch A Movie And Grow Popcorn On Your Ears

I do not watch a lot of movies because of mortal dread.

The person seated next to me might fail self restraint and strangle me, or worse place a line of pop corn towards where I am seated to lead a troop of angry ants and have me nibbled away. Suffering death from someone else’s stomach acids simply does not appeal to me in any way.

I don’t know, I just find movies so… long, and I believe we have discussed my attention span, or strong lack thereof. If you ask me my favorite movie I have got to say TV commercials. Oh, they are not movies, are they?

This is why the people most suited to sandwich me on a movie include a mute and a dead guy. The dead guy may stink but at least he can keep his peace while I rant in specific parts of the show, or maybe every after five minutes. How My Man tolerates me is still one of the greatest mysteries of life, especially to my friends.

Kulot would measure the greatness of a movie based on how many times I have said “I am bored”, “How much longer?”, “It’s killing me” and “This is probably what will happen next…”

However, through all of the movies we have watched together, she has developed perfect self restraint, or selective deafness. She has yet to strangle me, though in her head I know she wishes that someone else would.

It is like that of an occupational hazard, and I do not think my insurance covers choking secondary to watching a movie so you can just imagine the amount of mortal peril I face each time the film innocently plays.

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23 thoughts on “How To Watch A Movie And Grow Popcorn On Your Ears

  1. Pingback: The Sound Of Music Review, Resorts World Manila, PH: Not Just A Play But An Experience « Prinsesa's Anatomy

  2. Same here, too bored with long movies. Can’t even finish a DVD in one sitting – movies pa kaya ? But I go with my wife and daughter to watch ” their kind of movie” to sleep πŸ™‚ Sarap lalo na sa hapon πŸ˜‰

  3. hala! di ka pala mahilig manood ng movies. i once sat through a 7-hour movie. test of patience tlg pero kinaya ko.

    sabi nga ng isang nag-comment, try mo mga short films. around 10 minutes lang usually mga yun. and some are really good.

  4. so you haven’t watched lord of the rings? it’s probably close to 23 hours…but it’s one of the best trilogies ever. πŸ™‚

    mag short movies ka na lang PM. πŸ˜‰

  5. Probably one of the greatest inventions of mankind is movie making.

    There is something to be said about going inside a dark place to watch other people’s lives unfold. Voyeurism is such a thrill.

    lifted yan sa isang old post ko
    hehe

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