Table For One

Earlier, I was at a fast food chain, so hungry I was ready to commit felony if I was not fed in the next five minutes. Fortunately, the line moved quickly and I soon took a place at one corner of the restaurant and started on my full meal eagerly.

It was halfway on the soup when I suddenly realized all the noise around me coming from the afternoon crowd: a family taking the kids out for a snack, friends and classmates recharging after school, and couples holding hands while laughing at their own inside jokes.

I was alone.

As I dug into my single serving of mashed potato, I could almost feel the eyes of these strangers darting towards my table, in their minds questions that their imagination can only answer. I can picture them wondering: Why is she eating alone? Didn’t anyone wanted to join her? Where was her boyfriend? Does she have friends? Is she a bad ass?

There is something about being alone that bothers most people. It is as if it is a negative thing that comes next to buying condoms or panties that makes people uncomfortable. Thus, everything has to be done with a companion, even the mundane like walking, eating, even going to the loo. I looked at the lone chicken wing I was tearing apart like a caveman at the moment… I wonder if it is bothered by the absence of the left wing? Or was it the right?

It is as if being alone sends an invisible message to the world that leaves many iffy… like if they are left alone there is something inside them that would be reluctantly exposed, Β and they will be left vulnerable, so they go through all sorts of things to cover it up… and get company. I swear, it is something worse than silence in their books. Curious, isn’t it?

I was pretty full at this point on my table for four, and as I unwrapped the brownie left for dessert, I imagined what I would say if anybody I knew spotted me there gorging on a brownie by myself and asked why I was alone. I smiled to myself and leaned back contentedly. The answer was pretty simple…

“Because I can.”

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47 thoughts on “Table For One

  1. Pingback: Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance: Ticket For One Please « Prinsesa's Anatomy

  2. typical bane of the Pinoy culture. We can’t go anywhere alone can’t we ? kailangan may kasama, even to the point of embarrassment, like tagging an uninvited guest to a wedding reception argh.. 😦 Good for you for taking it like a man..err a woman πŸ™‚

    • so true! hindi lang sa weddings but in every event. that is not cool. me thinks being alone is a privileged. that is kick ass. πŸ™‚

  3. Hulaan ko sa KFC ka kumain hehehe (obvious)!

    Madalas I also eat all by myself. I even watch movies in cinema alone. It doesn’t bother me to think naman what other people might think. Basta masaya ako and I find the sense of serenity pag mag-isa ako… (aloooooooof lang hehehe!)

  4. nyahaha
    may ganito din akong post
    but the exact opposite
    hehe

    sa kfc yan, ano?
    may soup, brownies, at mashed potato, eh!
    love, love, love kfc
    hehe

    happy sunday!

    btw, bday ng malibay
    greet mo naman kami!

  5. Oh, do you know why people who eat alone get that kind of look from others? Well, they think , ” oh, she’s alone…. maybe she’s not popular, she’s a loser, nobody wants to be friends with her, she’s a loner, amybe there’s something wrong with her…. and so many other stupid speculations. We can go back to our elementary and HS days when being alone eating lunch everyday is the worst thing that can happen to us. I’m glad to say I had a bunch of friends in HS… I can also say I was popular then…. but it was all fake to me, coz tbh, I wanted to be alone . In college, my wish was granted. I can be alone, sitting in a bench, eating a pizza, reading and studying without getting distracted.

    • yes that is true, it is all very high school. good thing so many things associated with being a loser in high school become infinitely cooler as you grow up. i’m sure you were popular renx, i could feel it πŸ˜€

  6. .. hulaan ko saan ka kumakain nyan – sa kfc?!

    .. being “single”, i think enjoyed doing stuff alone most of the time. i shop alone, so that no one has to wait for an hour or more for me to choose a shirt (at minsan di ako bibili!, haha!), i can eat plain lugaw at the foodcourt mall not being bothered by anyone telling you, “ganyan lang kinakain mo?!” iisipin ng iba most likely ang lungkot ng buhay mo being alone – malay nila?! nababasa ba nila isip mo? hahaha!

  7. Halfway through your first paragraph and I was already anticipating rants about slow service from fast food chains. Ha. Buti hindi naman pala. Thing is, no one should wait for more than 15 minutes for fast food to be served. Kaya nga fast food, that’s what I always say. Bitch, much? :p

    Gaaahd, I always go out and eat alone. Never really thought about what people think about me when they see me all alone. Baka kung ano ano na iniisip ng mga poging nakakasalubong ko. Haha.

  8. hi PM!

    nararanasan ko rin ang mga ganitong tagpo… i mean yung mag-isa at mapansin yung ibang tao na magkakasama. though happy ang may kasama pero iba rin naman yung ikaw lang mag-isa. and tama ka, we can.

    and actually, ang pinaka-trip ko pag meditation mode ay manood ng sine mag-isa and ibang-iba ang feeling pag may kasama ka. mas malalim, mas naiintindihan, mas nakakapag-isip ka -hindi lang doon sa movie kundi sa sarili mo at sa ibang tao. (lalim di ba?) yan ang nagagawa ng kayang maging mapag-isa. hindi weak! hohoho!

    mabuhay!

    • hindi weak, mabuhay ka hoshi! hindi ko pa nararanasan manuod ng movie mag isa dahil madalang ko ito gawin kahit may kasama πŸ˜† pero sabi ni ewok, hindi niya daw kaya yan, kumaen mag isa oo. siguro ibang level na yan, congrats. πŸ˜€

  9. hmm. dati when some one ask me why i was eating alone. i will just tell them, “am, because i am weird. may problem?” now i realize that “i just can.”

    minsan talaga hindi ko yun maintindihan, bakit pag ang mga babae kailangang may kasamang mag cr, pag bumili ng food nung college dapat may kapartner, nakakaconfuse.

  10. I know how it feels. I also eat by myself, shop by myself–all by myself. πŸ˜€ And I don’t like being spotted by someone I know that I was very much alone especially if those people cannot understand why I chose to be alone. We can’t explain everything to people.

    • i like shopping alone but most of the time i tend to splurge πŸ˜† i have no problem with other people seeing me alone. they can think whatever they want to think. idc really πŸ™‚

  11. I’m a loner by nature, and I find other people a nuisance most of the time. So, I usually do a lot of things on my own. I go to concerts and watch movies by myself. That way, I don’t have to wait for anyone or agree/disagree with anyone. One thing I can’t do and won’t do by myself though is drink.

    Now, drinking alone, in public, that’s just very sad. I will really think you’re a loser if I see you drinking alone in a bar.

    • i agree, i experience that too, sometimes. do people normally go out alone and drink? me thinks if they want to do that they’d just get a glass and drink at home.

  12. i enjoy being alone most of the time. sasakit lang ulo ko pag may kasama ako, idiot naman. lols!

    hmm… let me guess: sa kfc ka kumain? i dont know, but i suddenly thought of that while reading your post. miss ko na kumain jan. haaay…

  13. i don’t have any problem doing things alone. sanay ako pumunta ng mall by myself, mostly aftr work. that’s usually my “me-time.” we all need some alone time with ourselves.

    and it’s all a matter of perspective. sabi nga nila, you can be in a room full of people and yet feel all alone. on the other hand, you can find that you’re all by yourself in the beach and yet feel all the love in the world. πŸ™‚

    • i agree kg, but there is the physicality of it, more than the perspective. i find it amusing how a lot of people find it disturbing, particularly the younger ones. it makes me smile each time i think about it and i feel triumphant being able to do it. πŸ™‚

  14. I CAN – eat alone too. I have done many times. Now that you wrote about this, I remember the many many times I ate alone when I was in college. How in the world would I have eaten alone those many times when all my time was spent with barkada!!!! But I had eaten alone. I enjoyed it.

    Now watching a movie alone in the cinema is another thing. I CANNOT do that.

    I’ve had debate with people over the years on who can eat alone and who can watch movie by themselves.

    Can you do both?

    • it can really be enjoying, particularly when crowds are around you. i’m not the biggest movie fan so i’ve never tried but i think i won’t mind catching a movie by myself too, especially if i want to sleep it along. πŸ˜†

    • most of the time young ones think being alone is synonymous to being a loser but what they don’t know is that it becomes so cool when you grow up πŸ™‚

  15. i believe it’s healthy to spend some time with ourselves; not to reflect or whatever but to simply enjoy time without anybody else. take note i have a family of my own that I tag along frequently but i think being alone whenever we get a chance, whether we eat or stroll in the mall, go watch a movie solitarily (yes, i’ve done that several times), can absolutely give us breathing space.

    deadma sa sasabihin ng iba.
    ako kung iisipin ko ang sinasabi ng iba, matagal na akong 6 feet under.

    • i like that last bit. i feel the same way. it is like if i had to kick the butt of everyone who has something to say about me i would need a couple more sets of feet. :mrgreen: some breathing space rocks. however, i must admit i do not like being alone in the mall because if that is the case i would have burned my pocket and later feel sorry that i did it! πŸ˜†

  16. my Leap journey was exactly that! doing things alone. yes, there’s this weird feeling of being “watched” and them finding out you are alone. πŸ™‚ i went to the beach alone, i went to dumaguete alone, i was at the hotel alone, i watched a movie at the cinema alone (gosh, and a woman from the cinema.. wow maam! ikaw lang mag-isa? hahaha which was the last question i wanted to hear… but i repllied: “yeah. im loving myself this way!) LOL but i enjoyed the whole thing.. it was fun to do things alone…. πŸ™‚ i wanted to go back to the beach alone… again. πŸ˜›

    • that is so cool tina. there is something empowering about it, don’t you agree? it is like doing something special that not everyone is capable of giving to themselves.

    • πŸ™‚ most of the time, ganito ako. kain akong mag isa sa KFC tapos order ng full load meal then ititira ko ang brownies…

      and sometimes, but not most of the times, nalulungkot ako kapag mag-isa lang ako. but since, isa akong taong masayang gumagawa ng mag-isa— which they find weird— wapakels ako sa kanila. πŸ™‚

      and i agree to angelbusha, im loving myself this way!

      im not lonely, im alone. and that’s an anagram of my name. :))

      • ako madalas yung fully loaded ang kinakain ko manok, soup, at mash. pass sa kanin at brownies pero dahil gutom ako this time todo :mrgreen: i like that last bit, very cool.

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