Congratulations, I’m Now Suicidal

typing manic

This is wrong. Did I miss the flash news with the giant earthquake that caused hell to rise on Earth? NO! NO! NO! Suddenly, all the emotional shit I’ve been continuously torturing myself with lately doesn’t matter. Suddenly, walking around with a jousting spear lodged on your chest didn’t seem so bad. Ooo, I need to hurt someone. I need emancipation.

This is me right now:


OMFG. See last week, I spent another two days at the hospital. The good news is it’s not my asthma. The bad news is my kidney have disappointed me. My abdominal ultrasound revealed kidney stones. So that’s why I have the most annoying pain on my right side. Seriously, it’s fucking painful that I can’t move without wincing, that I have to lie flat on bed because turning jolts me awake with pain. Imagine laughing and coughing with that. IT FREAKING HURTS! 

But that is not my problem. I have kidney stones? Fine. I have to add that to the over grown list why I’ll probably die young? Fine. I have to be on medications until July (I’ve been on constant medication since September last year.)? Fine. Fine. Fine.

What I don’t get… What I don’t get…

What I don’t get is why I can’t drink tea or coffee in the two months that I’m trying to close this unfortunate gravel and sand business my kidney started. WTF AM I GOING TO DO? I can probably live without coffee, but tea?

crying hysterically

I’m not new to food restrictions. Each time my asthma is in acute exacerbation, the only thing I eat is boneless bangus and that’s okay. With the kidney problem, there are tons I have to scratch off my diet – potato chips is a big one but it’s alright.

The one with the tea though is mighty personal. I don’t have tea because I’m thirsty. I drink tea because it comforts me. Yes, it seems I try to bring comfort to my life at the expense of my kidney, nobody dare mock me.

Now it will be ridiculous to keep all illness at bay. You see, I’m pathetic. Stress is the main cause of everything wrong with me. I won’t be surprised if I get cancer. It might only be fair, you know? But I try not to go full retard by drinking tea.

With this new restriction though, how the hell will this work? Someone tell me because really…

i cant

Let me tell you something here. You are so fucking lucky you are not me right now.

Photos taken from here.

16 thoughts on “Congratulations, I’m Now Suicidal

  1. Pingback: Running For My Sanity | Prinsesa's Anatomy

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  3. haaayy.. yun na nga lang comfort drink mo, mawawala pa sa iyo… hope you heal up soon.. para makainom ka uli ng tea.. for the meantime.. tiis tiis lang muna…

    • i recognize that maria, which makes the situation more sucky. but it’s my fault, my lifestyle, if you can call it that, sucks most in all history of sucking. i’ve been all about stupid lately. it’s like pringles, but i’m trying my best to get a move on. so far, i’m on the losing end. but i love my doctors. they’re fantastic.

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