I’m getting restless. Again. For some reason, the ground beneath my feet is shaking once more, alive. The intensity escalates continuously, like music seeping out of a room as the door slowly opens. The cracks I hear forming, the lines I’m seeing moving away from me.
Something is going to happen. Or may already be happening. But I don’t know what.
The last time I got restless, all hell broke loose. I’m not proud of it and there are probably better reasons out there to strengthen your faith but that series of catastrophe is what I got. Oh well… I thought I have it all figured out. Good thing is I’m still alive, maybe still asking WTF happened, but hey, don’t we all make decisions based on what we know for a time? And that time that was what I knew.
Now I’m stirring again and I can barely contain the rumble. The ferocity is something, the kind that makes you lick your lips in anticipation.
What is it going to be? C’mon, what is it going to be?
I’m not scared, not anymore… but that’s not comforting at all since that’s what I also said last time. Fuck.
Photo taken from here.
I usually feel this at the beginning of my relationships. That feeling of restlessness, of impending doom (I know that sounds melodramatic, but I honestly feel that way, like something terrible is about to happen).
And then I realized, it was mostly because I never felt I deserved the people I was with and that feeling of restlessness is just me, psyching myself to do something stupid to make the person leave me.
I know that sounds really crazy.
I want to know what causes this in you. And hopefully you can write about the previous episode.
thank you for sharing how you feel, i understand. i guess that happens sometimes. with me, i start to feel funny when i realize i’m getting restless. i just know something is up but i don’t pick up on the specifics easily. it can be that my mind is not 100% on it or i’m in denial or i’m dumb but it takes awhile before i finally nail it but when i do that’s when shit starts happening and the only thing left to do is go with it. 😆
Ahahaha. I know the feeling. “Everything’s going down in flames anyway. Might as well go down with it. ”
not a bad thought at all.
you are brave.
or i may just be losing my head? 😆 but it’s cool to realize these things, become more aware. at least i know something’s up.