The Day You Said Goodnight

Dear You,

The pain won’t last forever. I know you walk around bleeding, The knife sticking out of your chest, but hang in there. It’s not a nice feeling, hell, it’s the worst feeling ever, but it’s all the more reason to fight and reach the other side. You are strong. If you think you aren’t, then this is a great exercise to prove that you are and you can. One day, you’ll wake up and it’s over and you’ll look back proud of yourself.

I’m really sorry this happened. There are really no guarantees and bad things happen even to good people who don’t deserve it. Please don’t resent. Please don’t blame yourself. Please don’t think you don’t matter because you do and you always will.

I want you to know that it’s not your fault. Truthfully, there’s no sense in looking backwards and analyzing every single thing that you could have done differently to achieve a different ending. The point is, this is what you have now and the kindest thing to do is take what is and make the most of it.

No, I’m not asking you to pretend nothing wrong occurred because you won’t hurt this much if it’s all okay. But hey, when everything is wrong, you make it right. No matter how long you pick at the past, it won’t change anything. There is no going back so you must set your eyes on the future because that you can affect and mold to one you can be happy of, to one which does not hurt you.

I know, I know. You have been through a lot and the last thing you are now is hopeful. You were never hopeful to begin with but I’m not asking you to hope for a future where everything is okay. I’m asking you to hope for a future where you will be okay, one that you can face without tears in your eyes.

Don’t let this tough time destroy you. Don’t allow this to destroy who you are. Sure, you are shattered and you are a different person now even if you piece back all the broken bits but who said that does not lead to a better you? It is all up to you to make a better version of yourself and it is possible. You say you are nothing but dust at the bottom of the universe; I say that is good because there is no way for you to go but up.

I’m sorry if I have to say these things to you. I know they are not exactly helping with the tears but I just wanted you to know that while there are many things that can go wrong, there are also many things that can go right. I hope you focus on the one that makes you stronger.

I don’t want to be the one to tell you to let go. I know you are not keen on it because you are a fighter so I won’t. This is what I aim to say: Love until you can’t. Hurt until you don’t. There are no rules here. Just remember that sometimes peace is the better option.

If something does not serve you, does not make you happy, does not add value to you, and does not inspire you, what is the sense in holding on? This too shall pass but only if you let it. Going through all this does not make you any less of a person. You must know that.

The time will come when you will be alright to smile. Until then, keep trying. You will win this because I know you will refuse to lose. I believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself.

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Photo taken from here.