I’m Eating This Brand Of Cereal So I Won’t Kill Anybody

While most Filipinos indulge on a steaming bowl of rice with tinapa or fried eggs for breakfast, I only eat cereal. I buy a box every week plus another box of milk and be done with it. Effortless.

However, disaster struck last week. Try as I might, I could not find the brand of cereal I eat – the almond one from Kellogg’s. I have tried going around different supermarkets but nothing.

What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. This. City.

As much as it hurt me, I thought I’d fix that easily by simply picking up a different box with a picture similar to what I’m used to eating. The first thing I saw was Fitnesse by Nestle. It has the same flakes with nuts on the picture. I thought that would do.

I don’t regret many things in life but this one is special… Just thinking about it even makes me feel homicidal.

Breakfast the next day: I lift a spoonful to my mouth and taste motherfucking despair. False advertising crap. It looked edible on the photo in the box. 🙄

OMG, why would anyone manufacture a cereal this way? It tastes like garden soil. If this is how all health-food are made, I’d be happy to shorten my life. I may die young but it will be for a good cause.

No wonder the cereal I buy is always out of stock. If the competition is fun-free, it’d be too easy to clear shelves. Even the look is uninspiring for crying out loud!

Please, just don’t eat this one. It’ll suck the happy out of you. I think I might cry.

Now on the off chance that you do like Fitnesse cereal… oh man, I salute you, you brave soul. I wish you have abs that can shave my legs… Otherwise, you might want to do a bit of soul searching, but hey, up to you. 😉

8 thoughts on “I’m Eating This Brand Of Cereal So I Won’t Kill Anybody

  1. i grew up at a different time, in the province we had no other choice but to eat rice or pandesal for breakfast. sometimes puto and kutchinta if the ambulant vendor happen to pass by.

    btw, are there fresh milk in jugs available for these cereals?

    ps. i like eating cereals for dinner.

    • when i was younger i had the same food for breakfast. i love running after the taho vendor too. now i only buy milk in a box. at home there is fresh carabao milk. i don’t have issues with eating cereal at night. it’s good anytime, i think.

  2. My first reaction was: HAHAHAHA. Pardon my ignorance for sympathy here, dear.

    I grew up eating cereals. AT a young age, my mom placed me and my brother on cereal diet of some sort. God bless that thought. I think I’ve tried all sorts of cereals. What I hated was Trix, the cereals in a pink box, with some god knows what fruity loops it has. it smelled like puke everytime.

    I moved on to coffee for breakfast. I tried Fitnesse once, but I tried the regular(?) ones, no mix whatsoever. I kinda like it. But if all else fails, I go back old school with Kellogs or Koko Crunch. The kid in me wins in the grocery aisle 🙂

    • i love the grocery store. i can live there. i have not tried many brands of cereal because i like the one i eat. it’s hard to reach for a different box. you always have to wonder if it’s despair in a box or something.

  3. LOL! Sorry ma’am. I went through the exact same trauma when I was very young. When I was 6, I loved Grinners – the strawberry flavor. They get canned. So I decide on the, less nice, Honey variety – I begin to like them – they get canned. I begin to enjoy Wheat-bix not long after, I buy a LOT of them (and by I, I mean my long suffering parents), I get sick of them and I’m left with approximately ten thousand packets in my (my parents) pantry; which I am forced to eat.
    I try Cornflakes years later and the same thing happens.
    Now, after all of this horror, I just have toast. I know, not the breakfast of champions, but how can we possibly enjoy breakfast, when those who develop our breakfasts are secretly trying to ruin our lives?!

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