1. Carrying grudges. The magic word here is carrying. You are the one carrying it and not the other person. Tell me, what is the point of keeping this negativity inside you? Will it resolve anything? Will it manipulate the other person? Will it change anything? Will it make you happy? The alternative is to let go, which can potentially lighten you up, make you more productive as you put your energy into better things, and open you up for opportunities that create happiness. Take your pick.
2. Getting fixated on how things should be. If there is one way of doing things, wouldn’t it be such a dull universe? One of the most common reasons why people are unhappy is they have a narrow perspective of things instead of embracing endless possibilities. No two snowflakes are alike, given I have not seen a snowflake, but the point is, we are all trapped in this blizzard and to each his own. There is no formula. Think of it like puff pastry. You never know how it will turn out and that is the exact beauty of it. Instead of obsessing to no end, just relax, enjoy the ride, and be happy.
3. Seeking everyone’s approval. Just fuck it. Even if you eat fire while baking or hand chocolates to every single person in the world, there will always be something negative that will be said of it. Why? Because people are selfish. The only thing that matters to them is their highly regarded opinion and what they deem correct. If what you think, say, or do is different than theirs, then you are probably wrong; totally self-righteous so forget it. What matters here is what you think and how you feel about the stuff that you do. Remember that it is your life. You can’t go on being a democracy about it and have others accept you and your decision while you remain unhappy inside.
4. Rejecting the truth. The truth most times hurts but it will also bring you peace. Unhappiness comes from holding on to an idea instead of accepting what is real. It takes a lot of bravery to do this and it can be quite ugly too but it is very necessary if you are to be free. Analyze your pains and try to dig to the core. What is truly causing it? Often, it is only the surface that we see but to the root, it is mostly from denying simple truths that don’t normally go well with how we wish things to be. Newsflash: there is a lot of difference between wishing and living.
5. Doing yourself in. Everything is in your head: how you think of others, how you think others think of you, feelings, relationships – everything. There is a conscious decision involved in all these. It is what you call perspective, how you approach and take all that is around you. You have a choice: either be positive and give yourself a reason to smile, or be negative and invite unhappiness in your life. Your call.