I remember making a joke before, about how people should not rejoice in seeing ILY, because apart from I love you, it can also stand for I’m leaving you. This is the song for this one.
The Words I Would Say III
I have three words to say to you
three words that fill my lungs with every breath I take in.
I feel it crushing and heavy on my chest
I feel it deep in my bones
I feel it swirling in my head, day and night, driving me mad,
rendering me useless to do anything, to think anything else.
I have three words to say to you
three words I have always obsessed with
knowing we will reach this point
but never knowing when, never really knowing how
I will breathe out these words that consume me like fire
and finally with the last gasp of air I turn to smoke and now I tell you:
We are done.
We are done.
We are done.
Wow! ‘rendering me useless’ & ‘but never knowing when, never really knowing how’ & ‘and with the last gasp of air I turn to smoke’; these were some of my favorite lines. You seem to have a habit of incorporating repetition into your poems, and that is brilliantly encapsulated here.
The ending especially is really well conceived, and there are a multitude of ways one can read this particular conclusion, each scenario attached with its own unique tone.
Additionally, your choice in theme remains ever constant, and this is heightened by the poignant directness of the emotions used. Though the subject matter is not exactly positive, there is a triumphant sense of beauty here.
The idea of this poem is a great play on abbreviated, frenetic terminology. I personally never actually thought of ILY as anything other than what it is; well, that and pure laziness, I mean, if someone cannot actually say the words…
Long story short, outstandingly awesome writing PM! 😀 😀
thanks, always a joy to hear from you. i love how you used the word frenetic, because i imagine this the words coming out of you when you are in a mad frenzy, suffocating from a love that you just cannot stand anymore. it is distress, pain, defeat, and surrender.