The Edge Of Glory

If wires will be connected to my brain I am sure I will solve the energy crisis in the country single-handedly. I know I have made going slow my new project, and I cannot tell you how much I have drastically cut my lightning activities for that, but my head just cannot be stopped, which sucks, a lot.

I do not understand why I simply cannot calm the f*ck down. Each time something – anything – happens, I have the impossible ability to think a million things about it. It is as if my neurons fire at record speed each time it is presented by any stimuli. I cannot tell you how tired I am of over thinking.

Each night I offer a prayer that somehow I would learn patience. But you know what, if I am going to be graded on my patience I would… I would not be graded because I do not have any in the first place. I think I am the rudest person towards myself.

I know I cannot be in this perennial state of being stressed forever. Heaven knows how likely I am to have cancer already, I do not need stress to add to that.

But do you want to know what sucks even more?

I do not really have a life and death, not even a valid, reason to get stressed! I have a job. I have a good family. I have a Man who loves me. I eat good food everyday. My entrepreneurial attempts are okay. But what is wrong? WHAT?

To add to this, I find I am always absentminded lately, which only proves how much stressed I am. I cannot even be present because my mind is in constant worry of the past and the future! Great.

I think too much. I worry too much. I am impatient, too much. And I cannot stop. How can you possibly stop when your mind is all staring at you knowing that you are planning to put an end to it, whatever it is?

Sigh. Maybe I need a yoga instructor.

20 thoughts on “The Edge Of Glory

  1. I doubt beyond venting that you would expect from me (or anyone else?) practical advice. I see the kitty cat with the machine gun, and pray you do not derive inspiration from that (besides, cats lack opposable thumbs). I am settling down with some green tea with ndissolved ginger crystals (very spicy ang sweet). I quietly acknowledge I have tghese feelings myself more often than I care to admit. I do thank you, however, for sharing them, today. 🙂

    • the green tea sounds good keith. the venting proved helpful. i feel much better today actually and knowing you and my other blog friends do listen helps a lot too!

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