The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon Book Review: Ice Water On Your Face, Not Veins

Would I get a copy of The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King if I saw it on book shelves? No. I’m not really the type to scare the hell out of myself and pay for it.

However, I got a copy of The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon over the holidays from Yeye, my sister’s friend, so I thought I should be grateful and read it… Actually, this reminded me of The Life of Pi, only this is a hundred times worst :lol:.

The book had a ridiculous plot. It was not remotely scary and if earthworms had a race with the storytelling of this book, the earthworms would win. It’s about Patricia, a nine year old girl who got lost in the woods and survived being lost for nine days.

She keeps her composure by occasionally tuning in to a Tom Gordon baseball game through her Walkman, with batteries powered by Mars itself. She eventually ends up hallucinating about Gordon keeping her company on the supposedly scary woods, which really had nothing but a single non-biting snake, beavers, deers, butterflies, a bunch of birds, and the thing of the woods – a half bear, half wasp monster that was supposed to be the adversary in the story. πŸ™„Β If not for the huge trees and swamps, the setting could have been a park!Β And don’t get me started on murky swamps without anything on them but you have to beware of the sparkling stream that induces severe vomiting and diarrhea… and it has trout on it!

The resilience that Patricia showed in the book was remarkable but for a nine year old to endure everything that King had her endure, it was just too far fetched. If anything, Patricia would have been the smartest, fittest, and bravest nine year old in the world, with knowledge of the woods that would rival any Science teacher, the strength of a Filipino OFW or a water buffalo on heroin, and the guts of an equally stoned motocross superstar. :mrgreen: I would have find it believable if she was a witch but since this is not Harry Potter, it was simply crazy.

I guess the scary part was supposed to be the part where three hooded figures appears out of nowhere and addresses themselves as the god of Tom Gordon, the Subaudible (the god of her father), and the last as a messenger of the thing in the woods, the God of the Lost, who eventually does nothing but give Patricia a feeling of being watched and was conquered by losing a staring contest against Patricia. πŸ™„

Will I ever read this again? Not if my life depended on it. But I got the point of the book. You know, about how we get lost in each of our own lives’ woods and how it is not really what is out there that is scary but what is inside us (like the nine year old version of Voldemort that suddenly popped out of Patricia’s consciousness) that is more scary…

That when we are lost we just have to keep going and going even if life is nothing but “woven of stingers… beneath there is nothing but bones and the God we share“…

That life is sad but we have to deal with it “just because“…

And that the secret to overcoming obstacles is to be the better man (or nine year old, even if you are facing a bear that can be a half bear, half wasp monster if you are hallucinating).

I get it alright, but this book is just bonkers. You don’t need “ice water on [your] veins” for this one… you need a bucketful to stay awake. 😯

Note: I know it is too early for book number 2 (book number 1Β here) but I don’t want to lose my momentum so I’d just keep reading.

On the photo: A lot of presents are on the photo (my desk is cluttered, sorry) like the Journey calendar eds sent me, the other help me bookmark from Jeanny, the Puss ‘N Boots toy My Man gave me (this is it GB!), the memory stick witsandnuts got me for the blogger exchange gift 2010, and finally the book from Yeye – at least I gave it a shot girl, but still, thanks. πŸ™‚

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19 thoughts on “The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon Book Review: Ice Water On Your Face, Not Veins

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  3. i love how you review this book without revealing the plot. i read this book when i was about to leave high school or probably on my first few weeks in college and i have forgotten that i really enjoyed it until you mentioned it to me . certainly one of my favorite books.

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  5. haven’t read the book yet but i have a feeling i’ll like it. i’m a sucker for stephen king reads. i think he’s a great contemporary story teller and his fiction resonates a horror literature that haunts your inner thoughts more than your visuals. i’ve never been really scared of the boogeyman and the like. then again, to each his own, i guess.

    in any case, thanks for the book review. i’m curious to read it and see for myself. πŸ˜„

    • it’s interesting you’d still want to read it after my review. i hope you would and i would love to hear your review. it would be nice to see this book from the perspective of a king fan. πŸ™‚

  6. Stephen King is not my kind of reads – but I love it when it’s adapted into movies.

    Yap, keep the book reading goal going. You’re doing excellent.

    I promised to read 12 this year. I haven’t even picked out my first πŸ™‚ I’d probably go into my book shelf and pick one that’s been sitting there for years.

    • me too, not my choice. no interest in watching the movies too, i don’t like scaring myself πŸ˜€ thanks, i’m half way the third book. oh i hope you can begin with your reading! oh how about we read a book together? tell me what you end up picking and i will try to find a copy and read it too, how’s that? let me know!

  7. I’m liking Stephen’s son’s writing better. I know it’s a comic book, but Joe Hill’s Locke and Key is an awesome read.

    Ask your man naman san niya binili yung toy. I want one too!!! πŸ™‚

    • i will check out the work of his son. is it scary? if it is horror then i’m afraid we are not meant to be πŸ˜† i think it was from a happy meal gb! i’m not sure if he was just joking though. πŸ˜€ i will ask again!

  8. Good review for a forgettable book. You should teach me how to do that. hehe. Its the first Stephen King novel I’ve read. Its a weird story, and not even close to Life of Pi when it comes to goodness. hehe. Thanks the next S. King material i’ve read is the Shawshank Redemption novella, Great movie adaptation it was.

    • thanks, les. this is my first king novel too. it was painful. a lot of blog friends tell me the writing of his kid is better, maybe you should try it and make the shift for more satisfaction, or just sense. πŸ˜† oh i wanted to write about that topic, books made into movies and what matters when it comes to who gets the final say when it comes to which one is better. maybe i will, after i finish reading book number 3, which has a movie adaptation. i have yet to see it though. i will, after i finish reading.

    • it was hard to sustain this one but i guess i pulled through. if you plan to hold on to any king book, i suggest you not go for this one, not sure if it is worth it.

  9. I’ve read the book years ago. It wasn’t scary but none of King’s books scare me. Hahaha. His earlier works are much better though. Try Christine. Or his short stories.

    Try to look for Joe Hill’s Heart-Shaped Box. That book is quite freaky. He’s Stephen King’s son btw. πŸ˜€

    • i don’t like reading horror books scud, i’m better reading other things, i think. i want a book to not give me paranoia or bad dreams please. πŸ˜€

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